Дрег Ден
Я не сплю, я перешел в режим замедленного функционирования
И да, немного юмора и интересностей, вырезанных из тивитроп:

Annoying Arrows: Zigzagged. Averted in previous versions, where well crafted arrows and bolts made from good quality materials were one of the most deadly weapons in the game, due to their ability to easily penetrate and puncture vital organs, making them the bane of most creatures which work on conventional biology. However, the 2014 update considerably dialed them back. They still have use in an army, but marksdwarves are no longer unstoppable killing machines.

One well known character was known as Cacame Apebalded, The Immortal Onslaught[Image], providing an awesome name. Being the Elven King of the Dwarves made his full description, 'Cacame Apebalded, The Immortal Onslaught, Elven King of the Dwarves' a surreal combination of awesome, weird, and what-the-hell.

On another positive note, once your bookkeeper has "done enough work" and stops working completely, even if he dies you'll never need another one again as the books stay perfectly updated forever. Apparently the bookkeeper becomes so experienced he can foresee what the stocks will be in the future and even takes his own death into account.

In previous versions, champion wrestlers could be terrifying, capable of punching a charging knight's warhorse out from underneath him, hard enough to punt the animal back 40 feet and have it explode into gristle on impact. The 6-foot-tall, heavily armored, highly trained knight will then rapidly find all his limbs snapped by a short, blood-and-vomit-encrusted psychopath, leaving him crippled and helpless whilst being slowly stomped to death through the protection his armor still offers against normal attack.

Natural ice will melt from lava. That's right, Dwarven Engineering is so unspeakably Bad Ass they can even make unmeltable ice walls!

Improvised Weapon: Dwarves can actually forget to grab a weapon when going into battle, leading them to do battle with whatever they have at hand, whether it be rocks, helmets, backpacks, babies....

Kevlard: Fat realistically serves as a layers of tissue that may take damage from an attack instead of a more important body part. More bizarrely, in Adventure Mode you can repeatedly set yourself on fire and put it out after a while to remove all the fat in your body. If you survive you become effectively fireproof because heat does not kill you through burning, it kills you by melting tissue (which except at very high temperatures is usually fat) to make you bleed to death.

Lethal Joke Item: Occasionally, dwarves will equip items that are... not usually defined as weapons. A particularly well-known bloodline game, Headshoots[Image], featured a dwarf that spent most of the game wielding a satchel. This was used to uppercut one goblin and kill three more before the first hit the ground.

Mad Artist: Strange Moods causes dwarfs to produce something incredibly valuable, but defying any logic and sometimes laws of nature. Like a gold anvil or earring so engraved it would require nanotechnology to fit all this engravings on them.


See also the Lord British Postulate entry above, which explains why a majority of the fanbase (whose attention to detail is normally acute) is fine with playing this one straight. Nobody, even the few players who didn't mind the whole Mermaid Farming thing, wants the forums inundated with ingenious design concepts for a raw sewage drowning trap.

With the revamp of emotions in 2014, an unhappy fortress no longer tantrums en-masse. Instead, a dwarf may react to a close fellow dwarf's death by breaking down and sobbing.

One particularly memorable result: Planepacked[Image], a statue with the entire history of the world written on it. Including 73 pictures of itself.

"Miss Dwarfette, hereforth referred to as Casey McAnthony, was nursing another baby, a five-month old dwarfette named Litast, and only child after the miscarriage. And she was taken by a fell mood. (...) I didn't realize she would go for the nearest member of the fort. (...) Maybe I got lucky and she murderificated a vampire before it could do harm. (...) NOPE. IT WAS HER FUCKING FIVE MONTH OLD DAUGHTER. SHE KILLED HER DAUGHTER AND TURNED HER INTO A PICK. A GODDAMN PICK. WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH BABY FOR A PICKAXE? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BABY."

Training a new medic will involve a lot of incidental malpractice. One notorious misdiagnosis by a skill-less dwarven idiot led to a minor cut on the arm being misdiagnosed as rotting lungs which were then removed surgically. "Oh. They weren't rotting after all. Let's take a moment of silence for Urist McLearningExperience."

At one point you could wield any item in the world as a weapon and strike people with it without penalties. A fork? No problem, and they are actually good at piercing armor (don't laugh). A sock? Yes, and you can kill people with it! A sword, or any other weapon? Of course. A pickax? Yes, and it's pretty damn deadly. A life-size iron statue of some dwarf, which is around seven times heavier than your character is? YES! The corpse of that elephant you just killed?

Urist McOblivious gets thirsty; Urist McOblivious goes to nearby pond; Urist McOblivious fails to notice that the pond is surrounded by bits of his fellow dwarves that have been torn apart by deadly carp; Urist McOblivious takes a drink; various pieces of Urist McOblivious join the various bits of his fellow dwarves. Urist McDumbasabrick gets thirsty....